Beach Head II
(US Gold, 1986)

The dictator is back! It's a war between the allies, led by J. P. Stryker, and the dictator's armies. There are four stages to the game in which you must first parachute them into the enemy fortress and reach the turret. Your can then control the turret and use it to shoot tanks and jeeps as the enemy attempt to stop you. When you've got your remaining men into the helicopter, you have to go on an obstacle course, dodging gunfire and other obstacles, before the final confrontation with the dictator himself. The game isn't as good as its predecessor, despite the fact that you can control either the allies or the dictator, and the graphics are awful.

See also: Beach Head.

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Bedlam
(Go!, 1988)

You are a cadet in the Stellar Imperium's pilot academy, and as your final test, you must fly an X12 Fighter craft across sixteen sectors to prove your status as an élite pilot. It's just as well that this is only a simulation machine and not a real X12. Actually, this is yet another vertically scrolling space shoot-'em-up with nothing new in it at all. The graphics are quite good, but there's no music and few sound effects. The stages are quite short, but if your spacecraft is destroyed, you have to start at the beginning of the stage, and another problem is that there are no power-ups which enhance your firepower.

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The evil archbishop has kidnapped Quasimodo's girlfriend, Esmeralda, and Quasimodo has to negotiate the hazards strewn about the tower, including arrows, rocks, barrels and chasms. On each screen he has to reach the bell and ring it before his time runs out, or he'll be struck by lightning. As soon as you look at this game, you know that it's going to be awful. The graphics and sound are rubbish and the overall presentation makes it look like it was written in BASIC (and it mostly is!). It's also quite tough, and you need more than three lives.

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The programmers at Elite probably wanted to restore their honour after the disastrous conversion of Ghosts 'n' Goblins on the CPC. Once again, the fight between good and evil is at stake in this perfect clone of the arcade classic. After a short introduction, you are cast into the battle, featuring ugly monsters to smash in, bottomless chasms to avoid, and bonuses to collect. At the end of each of the three levels, another large monster awaits to scalp your long blond hair. The presentation is quite polished, but the game is extremely difficult and frustrating. If you persevere, though, it is possible to finish it with the nine lives you have, provided you have not broken your monitor with rage before then.

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Biff
(Beyond Belief, 1992)

Biff is a chimpanzee, but he's been very naughty and his mother has kicked him out of the treehouse. In order to please her again, he must complete various tasks. This is an arcade adventure in which you roam around a landscape, picking up objects and using them in certain places. Each time you do so, you score some points and get a clue as to what you need to do next. To make things a little easier, the next object to use flashes when it's on the screen. All of this means that the game has a very linear structure because you cannot choose what task you wish to perform next, and although critics may dislike this style of gameplay, I don't mind it too much. However, it's a shame that the game is a Spectrum port; everything is green, and there is no sound at all.

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7

Big Foot's girlfriend has been captured and has been imprisoned in a cage in the National Park, and the only way that Big Foot can free her is by finding the pieces of wire scattered around the park, connecting them to the cage and running a high voltage to blow the lock. The playing area is quite big and there are a lot of hazards - the most common being molten lava! In fact, more often than not, you'll keep jumping into them and losing lives. The graphics are gorgeous, but Big Foot seems to have a mind of his own and the game becomes annoying.

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5

Based on the fairly low-key film of the same name, this is a strange and unexciting little game where the aim is to walk through China's streets, sewers and temples, before taking out the mini-bosses (the 'Storms', for those who have seen the film) and finally the end boss, and rescue the kidnapped girl. There are three interchangeable characters - Jack Burton (an American trucker), some kung fu expert, and Egg Shen (a wizard on a floating cloud). Although the game is unbelievably short, it makes up for this in its difficulty - if one of your three characters dies, you can kiss goodbye to finishing the game. This is never more frustating than in the sewers, where you just cannot avoid the sewer monsters! The graphics are awful, and the characters move like they're made of wood. Not a terrible game, just really boring.

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5

Billy is a streetwise suburban guy ('la banlieue' is French for 'the suburbs', by the way), and this is a platform game in which Billy has to explore the suburbs, meet other people on the streets, and find the right objects to give to them. The graphics are superb, especially when you consider when this game was released. However, it is let down by the controls; getting Billy to jump over gaps is often very frustrating indeed, and you'll often need to position him precisely to climb walls and reach other platforms - and on that point, if you're going to play it, please note that you cannot walk past stairs!

See also: Billy 2.

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5

Are you a sharp shooter like Billy? This game has three parts to it - target practice where you shoot tin cans and bottles, an escape from a bank where you shoot all the enemies while avoiding the civilians, and a showdown at high noon which really tests your reflexes; shoot the enemy cowboy within a second or die. Each level consists of these three parts, so they all contain the same thing - not that you'll get past the second level, because the score you have to achieve is unreasonably large. The Spectrum-like graphics don't help either, but I suppose it's OK if you want a quick test of your agility.

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5

Billy is back and ready to beat up a few more of the thugs that wander the streets of the suburbs. By beating them up, he can earn some money to buy more energy. There are also some arcade machines where you can earn more money, although of course, you'll have to pay to use them. Unlike its predecessor, this is purely a beat-'em-up and doesn't involve much thinking. In fact, it seems that all there is to the game is beating up gang members, and the playing area seems to be much smaller. The graphics are still nice, but the gameplay must have gone missing somewhere.

See also: Billy la Banlieue.

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